I think this may be the feeling I get when I become sad over something that's made me happy.
TV shows, movies, music, anime.. whatever. Something that I've enjoyed and has made me happy for the duration suddenly ends. And it's not only bad because it's ended - it's reminded me of something I don't have, something I miss, something that hurts.
Today, upon the advice of a newsletter I subscribe to, I checked out a BitTorrent site that specialises in TV rips (a friend has since pointed me to a better site for TV rips than the original posted in the newsletter, but the latter is much easier to search and currently contains two versions of the show in question, whereas the former site only has one). They also reccomended a show called 'Wonderfalls'. Here is their take on it:
>> Wonderfalls <<
Genre fiction fans have been looking to
Buffy alumnus Tim Minear to supply their weekly
supply of fantasy and humour. We watched the
pilot a few hours ago and enjoyed it immensely.
It's got talking animals in it - how good
is that? The sad bit is that it's already
under threat of cancellation, with the
producers sending open letters to fan sites
saying, "please watch." Fingers crossed.
I watched the first episode, and absolutely loved it. I don't watch a lot of TV, and usually, when I do, I enjoy whatever's on. But this was something else - fresh, original, funny, quirky, cute and the main chick in it, Caroline Dhavernas, not only does a brilliant job, but she looks quite yummy as well. I decided right then and there, "This show is going to be my new addiction." I'd forgotten, at the time, the warning about it already facing cancellation. I can only hope that they decide to run with it - Blackadder had bad ratings at the beginning of its four season stint, and look how it ended up. The fourth series was the best and funniest. There's been some excellent reviews of it; I just hope the exec's listen to them. But I digress.
I downloaded and watched the second episode, and it was great too - not as good as the first, possibly because there wasn't enough speaking animals, but the episode was well-written. And although the inanimate objects only ever said one thing, I like how the meaning changed over the course of the episode. But at the end, it left me with this hollow feeling. I'd enjoyed it, and it left me with a happy feeling inside, that was quickly quashed once the credits rolled. Why? Maybe I really have become addicted - withdrawl symptoms over not having the next episode until next week, perhaps? That would be fun to imagine, but it's something deeper. I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe I just miss ki_caelum too much for a show to make me content.
I got the same feeling when I was in England. I watched a favourite show of mine (which I now own all of on DVD) called 'Coupling'. The male characters are always down the pub chatting over a few beers. At the end of the DVD, after laughing myself silly, I felt hollow and sad, missing my friends back home, wanting to be able to just relax and chat away with them down the pub.
Bah. I don't know why I'm feeling like this, and I could sit here and try to explain it and think up reasons, but I can't, and don't want to. I'm also annoyed that it's 4am right now, and I don't seem to have done anything productive today. I was going to go out and see a movie, and I was going to go out to a co-worker's farewell, but I did neither. I wanted to play a game, but none I have installed interest me, I installed a new one and it was crap so I got rid of it, and another one I tried to install but it was corrupt. I don't know what I want to do, but I want to do something, but it's too late/early to do anything, and tomorrow's probably going to be more of the same and I hate it I hate it I hate it. Meh.