Ok. The nectarines and peaches at work look *extremely* similar. When they're wrapped up in plastic, usually the only way you can tell is by gently squeezing the fruit. If it's soft and feels furry through the plastic, it's a peach. If it's hard and smooth, it's a nectarine. Problem is, you can't squeeze too hard or you'll bruise the fruit. I know you'll all be saying "What? As if you can't tell the difference!" right about now. Believe me, you can't, not all the time. Sometimes, it's just easier to ask the customer what it is, as it saves time in the long run.
Anyway. Customer came through with what I thought was a peach - and I was pretty sure - but as I didn't want to go through the hassle of deleting it and re-keying it in if it was a nectarine, I decided I'd just quickly check.
"Is this a peach or a nectarine?"
I blinked. "What type is it?"
"It's that one over there," she said as she pointed towards where she'd picked it up. She thought I meant which type of peach/nectarine, as there are a couple of varieties.
"No, I mean, is it a peach, or a nectarine?"
I stared at her for a second or two, then put it through as a peach.
Silently, a quote came to mind from the first episode of Red vs. Blue. Indulge me here.
A blue soldier, Ghost, is watching two red soldiers through his sniper rifle's scope. Beside him is another blue soldier, Tucker.
Tucker: "What are they doing?"
Ghost: *lowers his rifle and looks at Tucker.* "What?"
Tucker: "I said, what are they doing now?"
Ghost: "God-damn I'm getting so sick of answering that question..."
Tucker: "Hey you have the fuckin' rifle I can't see shit, don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick all day..."
Ghost: "Ok, ok, look. They're just standing there... and talking. Ok? That's all they're doin'. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doin' last week, that's what they were doin' when you asked me five minutes ago. So five minutes from now, when you ask me, 'What are they doin'?', my answer's gonna be, 'They're still just talkin', and they're still just standin' there!'".
*there is a long pause.*
Tucker: "What are they talking about?"
Ghost: *pause.* "You know what? I fucking hate you."
Guess which bit came to mind.
Later on, I was moved down to another register. The incident with the peach would have been all but forgotten, but oh no. Now, you may have thought asking whether it was a peach or a nectarine was foolish. I'd begrudgingly accept that you'd be slightly correct. But this next question was perfectly justified, as there's NO way you can tell just by looking at the product...
"Are these salted or unsalted cashew nuts?"
Thankfully, she atoned rather quickly by adding "They're salted cashew nuts." Otherwise I'd have been liable to pick up the bag of nuts and slam them in to her face - to give her a closer look - thus aiding her in her answer.
Those events really pissed me off, while this next one just fucking annoyed me. I guess it's a step down from 'really pissed off', which isn't as bad as 'fucking majorly pissed'. Not to be confused with the state you're in after a big night on the grog.
A woman came up to the cigarette counter. Note that not all people that come up to the cigarette counter are there to buy cigarettes. We also sell phone cards, and most people go to that particular counter to get cash out without buying anything (which I don't mind, and often do myself - the banks don't charge you for using EFTPOS, but they can charge you for using other banks' ATMs, and if your bank's ATM is a long way away...).
As it turns out, this woman was just after some cash out. She swiped her card to withdraw a paltry $5. As she did so, she and the store security guard were chatting.
"Can you believe the price of food these days?"
"Yeah, it adds up a bit, doesn't it?"
She just shakes her head in disbelief over the unbelievable price of food.
Then she turns to me and says "Can I have a packet of Champion Ruby tobacco and a couple of ventii papers, please."
After bitching about the price of food, she's just turned around and asked to purchase the most expensive tobacco in the store. Not only that, but she's done something I hate by taking money out of her bank, and then using it to pay for cigarettes - hence requiring two transactions and loss of time - instead of just splitting the bill between her card and her cash after I'd scanned the items she wanted to purchase. I hope you die of lung cancer and your white trash family collect government benefits while saving thousands of dollars because, instead of kicking the habit, you kicked the bucket.
Now to top it off, I finally get out of work, and my mum picks me up. She informs me that she and my sister moved my desk out of my room, and into my sister's, because she needs it for school. Now I'm really pissed. I don't care that she's got the desk - I've been asking for a new one anyway, and she really needs it more than I do. But I just KNOW they will have moved *everything* that was ON the desk, or in the way of the desk, on to my bed. I get home, and check my room. This is the case. It's a fucking mess. Granted, it was a mess before - "World War Nine," according to one of my friends - but at least the mess wasn't on top of my frikkin' bed, after a long shift at work. *sigh* >:-|
Thank God I have the next two days off.
Having said that, who wants to bet $1,000 that they'll ring me and ask me to work tomorrow?
I had to go through that Red Vs. Blue episode a couple of times to get the script down, and I ended up laughing hysterically. It certainly made me feel a lot better. Kudos to the creators for making an absolutely shit night not all that bad in the end. :)
The rest of you - go download it. It rules.