It's put me in an odd mood. There are things I need to attend to. I feel like I need to get my game face on. Yet I procrastinate, but not for the reasons of old. I don't have ENOUGH to do. I need more - more motivation to... to do something. Anything.
I miss my camera. I want to be taking random photos again, I want to put them on the net and share them with the world. However I've outgrown the camera I used to have. Any new camera I own must now be able to achieve Depth of Field, else I don't want it. Depth of Field is nothing new, but after working with it natively in video, I realise how crucial it is to any form of photography. In the right hands, it can achieve so much. Just like band shirts are fashion's new black, Depth of Field is mine. (Actually, saying that things are "the new black" is my new black, but don't tell anyone...)
I miss randomness. I miss travelling. I miss not knowing what the fuck I'm doing while at the same time not caring at all. I miss being social with total strangers. I miss a life I can't remember if I ever had. I desperately need something, and whatever it is I cannot define, cannot place. Something is wrong and I don't know what it is. I can't decide whether, were I to know what it was that was missing, I would be calmer in the knowledge and understanding, or whether I would be more anxious and upset. At least if I knew, I could point myself towards fixing the problem.
Right, that's it, I need to start moving. If I'm stagnant here... well, I just can't stand to be stagnant here any longer. Need to move.